Posted on 26. June 2013 13:24 by Admin
Compromise is an essential part of any relationship. No matter how compatible you are with your partner, and no matter how much you agree on the important things in life, at some point you are going to disagree with each other. It’s all very well to say that compromise is important, but how do you know when to give in and let your partner win?
What Not To Do
Keeping score or bringing up who has gotten their way in the past is never a good idea. That can make you feel like you and your partner are competing rather than working together on the same team. Sure, it can be frustrating sometimes to think to yourself that you are the one doing all the giving and never taking, but the way to tackle that is never to hold grudges! Make sure that you don’t hold it over your partner’s head once the decision has been made. Rubbing it in will only cause resentment.
Communication is Key
When you have a disagreement with your partner, try to look at it from a different perspective. Think of this as an opportunity to get to know them better. Instead of getting wrapped up in your own desires and wants, take a step back from the situation. While you probably have a good reason for wanting the very best ceramic cookware, your partner may initially resist. Instead of insisting that your way is best, sit down and ask them why they hold the opinion they do. The most important thing is to really listen to what they say. Don’t just be waiting for your turn to speak! Next, let them know which of their reasons you agree with. You don’t want them to think that you are against everything they think if you actually aren’t. Then explain your opinions, and ask them to tell you what they do and do not agree with. Now things are much clearer, aren’t they? You can actually discuss the areas you disagree on.
Ask your partner to be honest with you about whether or not this is really all that important to them. Ask if they could rate their investment on a scale of 1-10. You can then do the same, but make sure not to exaggerate! Try writing your rating on a piece of paper if you can’t trust yourself. If it is a 7 for your partner but only a 3 for you, you might just let them have this one. If, however, you both feel the issue is of equal importance, it’s not so simple. If neither of you can agree on which way to go nor you can’t find a compromise that you’re both happy with, it might be best to simply flip a coin! At least then you have an equal chance of getting your way. Sometimes, you’re going to have to choose to give something up in order for your partner to get their way. Just make sure you have a sensible discussion and it will all work out.